...when a few months go by and you realize that you have completely forgotten that you have a blog - one that you started with full intentions of updating on a regular basis. Somewhere around mid to late March, days began to fly by and weeks seemed to mesh together. A few visits from out-of-town guests, a few visits to out-of-town friends and family, and a new job later, I realized that I've completely missed out on the first half of summer. As August rapidly approaches, I sit here with my usual pale white skin (mission to get a gorgeous bronze tan = epic fail!), under-eye circles, and a headache, and wonder at what point do we stop living life to it's fullest and resign to becoming a slave to the expected normalcy of adulthood?
Perhaps it's the long-distance move that has suddenly made me so fond of my pre-adulthood memories, but lately, all I want to do is scream "I DON'T WANNA GROW UP, DON'T WANNA GROW UP!" I find myself longing for those lazy days of summer, where the most stressful thing on your mind was whether or not you'd finish the summer reading list before the first day of school. It's funny how the simplest things are the ones that stand out when you look back. Realizing that your fingers are stained purple from picking blackberries all morning, feeling sticky from head to toe after climbing to the top of the fig tree to reach the ripest fruit, smelling the freshly cut grass as you roll down the levee - laughing the whole way down, lying on the backyard swing while listening to the birds happily singing, stealing a taste of the fresh plums that grew on the tree in the backyard - these are the memories that stand out the most. I'm not sure what it is about growing older that makes us somehow forget to enjoy the simple things in life - the things that effortlessly bring a smile to your face, but as I get older and the summers seem to come and go faster - and seem far less exciting while they're here - it's those simple things that I long for the most, that I would gladly trade a week's pay in return for a week's worth of simple, care-free indulgence.
Perhaps I'm rebelling against the fact that the big 3-0 is now less than two months away and yet I sometimes already feel older than that, but I think that Peter Pan was seriously on to something. Sure, I may have to get older, but there's nothing wrong with being a child at heart. So what if I get the urge to run through the sprinklers every time they spring to life in the backyard? So what if my greatest joy on a hot day is a double-scoop of cookies & cream ice cream in a waffle cone? So what if I occasionally still have the urge to push-start the grocery basket and ride it through the parking lot? And, so what if, at almost 30, I haven't gotten it all figured out yet. Life is a journey to be enjoyed and, while care-free months off for the majority of summertime are not exactly a privilege to be enjoyed by most adults, that doesn't mean that we can't still partake in the simple goodness that summertime offers. I think William W. Purkey said it best when he said "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth." It may take some letting go to do so, but I certainly intend to try!
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